buckhorn mountain mine

me and chewy were discussing about the nature of friendships vs public blogging in the canteen yesterday. It never really occured to me till then how people become friends. That having the same kinds of cultural, social backgrounds and perspectives really helps, but that doesnapos;t mean your best friend should be a carbon copy of you. In fact, the more similar a person is to you, the more likely you are to have some animosity towards him/her.

we were wondering why even though her friend X was cheena like her and her other friends, they didnapos;t really click. Friend X�was abit too straight talking and insensitive for their liking(even though it was probably not meant in a sarcastic or malicious manner, kind of like how kids can be too brutally honest sometimes but you know they dont really mean any harm.)you would think cheena and cheena hang out together, and ditto the angmoh pai people.then we concluded itapos;s because friend X, although cheena, went to an angmohpai school. Haha.

which also brings me to another point.. Yday in the darkroom yingsiew expressed surprise that i even listen to chinese songs..and that i dont even listen to angmoh songs. I guess to her and everyone else iapos;m an angmoh person, kentang, etc..cuz of the way i look and the way i speak. (altho there was an anomaly back in jc in the form of a senior who said i spoke chinese with a taiwan accent. Oh wait, my partner thinks so too after i told her, but she thinks its cuz taiwanese people dont speak good chinese anyway = =)

sometimes i wonder if i dont really fit in anywhere either. Im too cheena for the angmoh people, but too angmoh for the cheena people. I can probably interact with both groups of people but not on a super close basis.. And i guess the people im closer to are people like me, who are not close to either extremes of cheena-ness or angmoh-ness (ie kind of bilingual).

anyway back to blogs. I think blogs that bitch about people and are purposely public are so irritating. This is why my blog doesnt contain any bitchiness. And especially blogs who WANNA bitch about people but then describe it in an ambiguous manner so that itapos;s not so obvious.. If you wanna make your blog public and dont wanna let people know about who you bitch, either a. Dont blog about it, or b. Private it. Itapos;s that simple. And so many misunderstandings can occur from ambiguous blog entries sometimes.

and yet i know that sometimes people write something with the intention of letting other people read them, and KNOWING other people would read them. Itapos;s like a call to resolve some problem people may be too shy to say it out. Iapos;m guilty of that sometimes too.
but i would never blog about someone, knowing that OTHER�people would read about what i blog about that someone, and form their own judgments based on what i blog.

i think thatapos;s too unfair.

okay on to social and cultural backgrounds. I stayed till 5am developing photos last night and even though it nearly killed me but i dont regret it. I think my photog class people are super fun xinying said that this was like probably the only elective where the class is quite close.. And like maryann saying our class was the noisiest. Haha i think thats because for some reason our class is super hardworking so we spend alot of time together developing photos.

anyways i realise in mass comm i keep hanging out and meeting the same kinds of people with the same kinds of social and cultural backgrounds that i have had since young. So photog class is like an eye opener to all the hokkien and random stuff that i dont usually hear. And we shared some other things about ourselves too, like not being able to watch tv when we were young, like becoming really bad tempered when sleepy, like being insulted about not being compatible with oneapos;s other half, like finding out someone has 8 other brothers and sisters, like how amazing it is to be the first one to enter university in an entire extended family, and more family dramas.

sometimes i think i live in a protected shell. I remember my friend once told me, "iapos;m surprised youapos;re not elitist."

ha i think people have too many misconceptions about me. Being that and angmoh pai is one of them.
but sometimes i wonder if i cant get closer to people because thats who they think i am. And because at the end of it all, we are too different to talk.

why do some people click and why do some people not?
why is it so easy for some people to have a conversation while with other people its just an QA session?

and sometimes i think..for all the fun i had, for all the nice people i met in my photog class.. We arenapos;t going to be seeing each other much after the semester ends. Although as a class organizer (i have seriously no idea how i became one) i am gonna try to arrange some kbox session, but itapos;s gonna be pretty tough to keep in touch. Especially for me, cuz i wont be seeing the others in school even on a random basis next sem cuz of my internship.

and itapos;s not like theres an ADM�b/w photog level 2 course (and even if there is im quite sure none of us will be keen to take it up considering the amount of time and money consumed lol).

dont you think itapos;s sad? iapos;m used to in actually, with mass comm being on a choose your own modules basis i tend to hang out with different groups of people every semester and make different friends every semester.. But its kinda sad not seeing the people u used to hang out with after each semester ends.

i used to be emo about stuff like this, like iapos;d cry after some sec sch camp ended, but as you get older i guess you get more used to the comings and goings..and maybe you learn to detach yourself a little bit more.

but i guess itapos;s okay to feel sad once in awhile. Anyways, theres still 3 more weeks =)

ok now i REALLY have to go write my script. Byes.

conectores, buckhorn mountain mine, buckhorn mountain lodge, buckhorn mountain boys, buckhorn mountain boy.